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Can u please give ne marrying her mafioso by terri anne browning in epub They Like Stupid is Forever, the page Stupid is Forevermore highlights Santiago's. Sense of humor is almost absent among politicians, but Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago is a truly talented exception. People are puzzled. Miriam Defensor Santiago launched Stupid is Forevermore, the second installment in her best-selling collection of jokes, quotes, and DOWNLOAD PDF HERE.

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All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or any electronic means, including information storage or retrieval. STUPID IS FOREVERMORE. © Copyright by Miriam Defensor Santiago and ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc. First Printing, June Second. Stupid Is Forever [Miriam Defensor Santiago] on Stupid Is Forevermore Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

Sense of humor is almost absent among politicians, but Senator Miriam Defensor Santiago is a truly talented exception. People are puzzled how she can spontaneously make them laugh in the midst of national policy crises, and real danger to her life as a corruption fighter. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Read more Read less. Discover Prime Book Box for Kids. Learn more.

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Read more. Product details Paperback Publisher: Tell the Publisher! I'd like to read this book on Kindle Don't have a Kindle? Share your thoughts with other customers.

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Please try again later. Paperback Verified Purchase. Good laugh. Funny but witty. My wife is enjoying the book. One person found this helpful. Was expensive book but i like the content of the book.

Thank you for the book and everything is as you described it. Good humor with a sensibility! Worth the wait. As Theodore Roosevelt said, the most practical kind of politics is the politics of decency. Two political candidates were engaged in a heated debate Candidate I: What about the powerful interests that control you? Candidate 2: You leave my wife out of I love this definition from Ambrose Bierce. A politician is an eel in the fundamental mud, upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared.

When he wriggles, he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive. To call a Filipino politician a mediocre man is unwanted flattery.

Many politicians All professionals in our country need to pass a government exam. Only a politician does not need any kind of preparation to practice. He disturbs my soul. Yes, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of depression and recession, I anticipate no recovery, for he is with me. He prepares a reduction in my salary in the presence My expenses alarmingly run over. Surely unemployment and poverty shall follow me all the days of my life And I shall dwell in a mortgaged home forever.

Pwedeng i-like, pwede ring mag-comment, pero hindi dapat i-share. Ang crush parang math problem, kung hindi mo makuha, titigan mo na lang. Pumupunta ka ba sa gym? Kasi feeling ko, magwo-work out tayo. Hindi ako mataba. Hindi lang ako Wow, saan gawa ang t-shirt mo?

Parating pakanan, never kakaliwa. Ang ganda mo ay parang PLDT—pang- long distance. Kung magkaroon man ako ng third eye, ilalagay ko ito sa puso ko. Para hindi na ako mabulag sa pag-ibig. Alam niyo ba kung kailan nauso ang pick-up lines? Noong pumasok ako sa UP College of Law, naglabasan na ang mga pick-up lines. Kapag namatay na ako, huwag na huwag kang pupunta sa libingan ko, baka tumibok ulit ang puso ko. Miss, kutsara ka ba? Kasi papalapit ka pa lang, napapanganga na ako.

Kung asukal ka, ako naman ay sago. Wala akong kwenta kung wala ang tamis mo. Lahat na lang pamatay. Pero kung gusto mo ng pampabuhay, i-try mo ang "by my side. Pwede ba akong humingi sa iyo ng kahit konting pagtingin? Laway ka ba? Kasi kahit tulog na ako, ikaw pa rin ang lumalabas sa bibig ko. Ang lampa mo naman!

Tatawid ka na nga lang Sabi nila, "A picture is worth a thousand words. Hindi kasi kita kayang kalimutan, pero kaya kitang palitan. Anong tunog ng aso? Aww aww. Eh ang pusa?

Eh di meow meow. Eh ang puso ko? Ikaw ikaw. Hindi naman tayo naglalaro ng tagu- taguan pero bakit hinahanap-hanap kita? Mag-exchange gift tayo? Akin ka at sa iyo naman ako. Pwede ba kitang sabayan pauwi? Kasi sabi sa akin ng magulang ko, "Follow your dreams. Kasi nang dumating ka, wala na akong makitang iba. Alam mo ba, ang bigas, gasolina, pamasahe, tuition fee, isda, karne, lahat sila nagmamahalan?

Tayo na lang kaya ang hindi! Pangalan mo palang kinikilig na ako, paano kaya kung magka-apelyido na tayo?

Ok lang akong mahilo, basta sa iyo lang iikot ang mundo ko. Dalawang beses lang naman kita gustong makasama: Dahil isa akong judge, pwede kitang hatulan ng habang buhay na pagkakakulong sa puso ko.

Kung ang mga bagay ay makapagsasalita: Mahirap ba talagang makuntento sa isa? Bakit palipat-lipat ka? Wala ba akong karapatang magmahal?! Nagsasawa na ako. Mabuti pang patayin mo na lang ako.

Para kang pangalan ko.

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Bakit naman? Pag nawala ka, sino ako? Saan tayo magde-date sa Valentines Day? Sa sementeryo? Bakit dun? Para mapatunayan kong patay na patay ako sayo. At pumunta nga sina Boy and Girl sa sementeryo para mag-ghost hunting. Habang naglalakad sila sa pinakamadilim na bahagi ng sementeryo, biglang napasigaw si Boy.

Na mahal kita. Pedicab ka ba? Kili-kili ka ba? Malapit ka kasi sa puso ko. Ang love ay parang bayad sa jeep. Minsan hindi nasusuklian. Ang sabi nila "An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Para malaman mo na type kita. Gusto kitang kasuhan ng trespassing. Basta- basta ka na lang pumapasok sa puso ko. Empleyado ka ba? Empleyado rin ako. Pwede tayong magkaroon ng union.

Ang relasyon ay parang gubat. Madalas may ahas. The campaign period has begun. All kinds of characters want to run for public office. We, the 52 million Filipino voters, are bored with their antics. We are aghast at their resumes. Some of them are not even high school graduates. They resort to all kinds of cheap gimmickry, hoping to provide entertainment for free. They should not be called candidates; they should be called clowns.

In the Philippines, politics is dominated Fortunately, we are at the cusp of a new ominous wave of change in the political beach. This wave is called the social media. In the Philippines, nobody knows how to control or manage social media. Rich clowns used to bribe press and broadcast journalists so that they could gain added illegal advantage over their competitors. But now, the rich clowns are beginning to discover that it is not possible to bribe the leaders, much less, all the netizens in cyberspace.

The ideal UP student always gives the world a shock. I ask each one of you to give the mindless political candidates a shock, by In terms of social network use, the Philippines is ranked among the top countries. This could be the precursor of the participatory democracy of the future. Facebook is the premier social media service in the world. Twitter is an online YouTube provides a forum for the distribution of video content, particularly eyewitness features of political protests.

Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube are the so-called big three social media services. These services enable large numbers of people to be easily and inexpensively contacted via a variety of services. Social media lowers traditional socio- economic The power of the rich politicians becomes more porous and the political warlords have less control. It has been said that text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and the Internet have given rise to a reservoir of political energy. Digital technologies enforce the formation and activities of civil society groups: The ideal UP student is not interesting per se.

What is interesting is what the ideal student does with his life after graduation from UP. As a rule, any UP graduate will always be characterized by academic excellence and by the courage to take social justice to the next level.

If you are to serve your nation, I am here to testify that it will be a rough, contentious, and spirit-crushing journey. But as a true UP graduate, I insist that I This role is to stand as one of gazillion bricks in the cathedral of governance. No one will remember me if I suddenly drop dead tomorrow. But generations after you and me, would be able to put behind them the culture of corruption, and build a new shining nation with leaders who are neither dazzled by the material world, nor confused about their purpose in life.

Hence, I have risen from my sickbed to Use social media during this three-month campaign period to ensure that our people shall be led to choose deserving national leaders. Allow me to make some recommendations on how to weaponize social media against the corrupt, the clueless, and the clowns. I am paraphrasing from an article in the Net issued by Craft Media Digital and written by Brian Donahue.

Weaponize social media during the campaign by providing content that not only informs, but also entertains and motivates. You need to develop skills in creative design, emotionally riveting visuals, and content that inspires action. We can not weaponize by simply issuing a statement, a newsletter, or a Facebook post. We need to enlist the work of more graphic designers, creative writers, videographers, Weaponize social media during the campaign by embracing targeted messaging strategies.

You cannot rely on single-issue national messaging.

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You have to send custom messages to specific audiences online. Hook up with math students in the Diliman campus. Ask our math scholars to build algorithms for matching data. This For example, refer to Facebook OpenGraph. Weaponize social media during the political campaign by delivering content so engaging that individual netizens will be motivated to share it. I see in the current campaign that the most egregious error of the candidates is that they treat social media as if it were TV or radio, where they simply transfer The strength of the web is information sharing among social netizens.

Weaponize social media in the political campaign by accepting that the future of political warfare will take place online. Social media should be used as a showcase for intangible movement or energy, and a medium of information to motivate people to vote for or against a particular candidate.

Conclusion I share one unbreakable linkage with you. At one time I was your age and like all UP students, I wanted Maybe I have. But the world also changed me. Now I am old enough to have seen the world and have all my illusions shattered.

Am I disillusioned? No, because as the poet said: Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Barring public demand, any person who pursues the presidency out of personal ambition must be suffering from a basic genetic defect. In a magazine interview. I do not subscribe to the school of thought that I am leading the presidential polls because of my beautiful leg After topping most presidential surveys in First you say that I have a brilliant resume and an But then you propose that I should not run for president, but only for vice- president.

Clearly, your conclusion does not follow your own premise. And you justify this illogic by claiming that I would be cheated by my rivals as a presidential candidate, so I should settle for becoming a vice-presidential candidate instead. Sir, if the rest of humankind had adopted your line of thinking, we would never have Everest, or learned to fly. For in all these daring enterprises, people who should have known better said it could not be done. When I went to the Commission on Immigration and Deportation to fight graft and corruption, the cynics also said it could not be done.

Why did Sir Edmund Hillary climb Mt. Because it is there. Why am I Because it is here! During an open forum hosted by the Association of International College Women, who gave her a standing ovation. You have the obligation to show respect and courtesy to To an alien criminal suspect who raised his voice to interrupt her during a press conference. The fixer is a person who nominally looks like a human being. But he specializes in creating misery for others, in order that he can offer to fix it for a fee.

Explaining to the press why she banned fixers at Commission on Immigration and Deportation and ordered their mass arrest. Ano ang pinagkapareho ng sperm at ng mga pulitiko? Pareho silang may one in a million chance na maging totoong tao. The cabinet is afflicted with a dreaded disease.

It is known as logorrhea, or incoherent talking. After then President Corazon Aquino announced a program of measures to improve cabinet performance and cut costs, most of which had been proposed earlier by Miriam.

We are trapped in a political Tower of Babel. Our national leaders are accursed by glossolalia, or talking in different When the Senate first began to oppose her alien legalization program when she was Immigration Commissioner. I shall expect the landlords to cooperate with the agrarian reform program. Some of them are devotees to a cult of self- praise. I refused to join that hallelujah chorus! I feel like Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom.

Entering Congress for her first confirmation hearing as Secretary of Agrarian Reform. I was accused of almost every crime At malapit na rin kaming dumating doon.

Explaining why confirmations hearings could be oppressive. Head-bashing is the best strategy. Sometimes I have to splatter their brains on the pavement. On the best way to fight graft. When the government employee is poor and he works in a corrupt agency, he can resist everything except temptation. At a student convocation at the University of the Philippines. They reduce legislation to the level of the ludicrous. Holdap ito! Akin na ang pera mo!

Hindi mo ba ako nakikilala? Isa akong congressman! Kung ganoon, akin na ang pera namin! My public life closely resembles the popular science-fiction trilogy on Although I am a definite underdog, I am not afraid of those corrupt superstars. Thus, the first chapter of my life should be entitled "Star Wars. They refused to confirm me in the Commission on Appointments, until I was removed from the Cabinet. My enemies posted that evil victory, but until now they do not stop. When I started leading the presidential surveys, they paid for a diabolic media blitz against me.

Thus, the second chapter of my life should be entitled "The Empire Strikes Back. For life, I like theology, consists of the unceasing battle between good and evil. In the movie trilogy, the forces of good were called Jedi, while the forces I eat death threats for breakfast!

I have no doubt that, in the end, the forces of evil in Philippine politics will triumph. Thus, I promise you, the third chapter of our life together shall be entitled "The Return of the Jedi. Louis University gymnasium in Baguio City, where over 5, students gave her a standing ovation, presaging her phenomenally popular A person suffering from lung cancer is prone to bleeding. How to tell if a politician is telling the truth: Whenever he looks at you straight in the eye, he might be telling the truth.

But when he opens his mouth, he is lying. Corrupt politician, nagyayabang: Ako ang tumulong sa mga businessmen na maging milyonaryo! Bakit, ano ba sila dati? Corrupt politician: I have realized why corrupt politicians do nothing to improve the quality of public school education.

They are terrified of educated voters. Ang sabi ng gobyerno: Alam ninyo kung bakit? Ayaw ng gobyerno ng competition. Hindi ba, ang mga gadget kapag nagloko, namamatay? Dapat ganyan din ang mga pulitikong manloloko, namamatay din! Ano ang resulta ng IQ exam ng mga kurakot na pulitiko? What is the difference between corruption in the U.

In the U. In the Philippines, they go to the U. Corrupt official: Miriam, kapag natapos ang term ko, iiyak ka ba? Oo naman. Mapipigilan ko ba ang tears of joy? Pulitiko ka ba? Ang ganda kasi ng mga mata mo. Corrupt nang corrupt. May mga kandidatong guilty ng trespassing. Wrong grammar. Premature campaigning ng mga epal politicians. Photo albums na panay mukha mo lang ang laman.

Hindi porke bago ang hair-do mo, magpopost ka na ng IOO pictures ng sarili mo. Nakaka- offend kasi. Ilegal dapat ang pagmumukha niya. Bakit naka-schedule sa tag-init ang kampanya para sa eleksyon? Dahil dito napapatunayan kung anong klaseng pulitiko ang nangangampanya. Kung matunaw sila sa init, ibig sabihin plastic sila.

Kung masunog sila sa araw, ibig sabihin mapapel sila. Kung mahilig silang magbilad sa araw, malamang buwaya sila. Nauna ang presidente ng China. Ang tanong niya: Sumagot si God: Sabi niya: Pero kapag ang congressman Ano ang tawag kapag nagtapon ka ng basura sa dagat?

Ano naman ang tawag kapag tinapon mo sa dagat ang mga pulitikong kurakot? Kapag hindi nanalo ang ine-endorso kong kandidato, para itong kape na walang creamer at There was a study on the connection between government employees and the sport they play.

Ang paboritong sport daw ng mga entry- level na government employees ay basketball. Kapag lower management position, paborito daw nila ay bowling. Kapag upper management naman, paborito daw nila ay tennis. Ang paborito daw na sport ng mga high- level government officials ay golf.

The study then made this conclusion: Kapag tumataas ang posisyon mo sa gobyerno, lumiliit ang iyong balls. Top three na pinakasinungaling na trabaho sa Pilipinas: Sasabihin nilang maganda ang customer kahit hindi naman talaga.

Kundoktor ng jeep. Sasabihin nila na dalawa pa ang kasya kahit puno na. Dahil puno na ng kasamaan ang mundo, pinuntahan ng Diyos si Noah, na ngayon ay nakatira Inutos sa kanya ng Diyos: Pagkatapos ng anim na buwan, uulan at babaha ng apatnapung araw at gugunawin ko ang Nakita niya na walang arko si Noah. Sabi ni Noah, "Pasensya na, Lord. Hindi ko po natapos ang arko. Iba na po ang panahon ngayon: Una, kailangan ko raw po ng building permit.

Sunod, nahirapan po akong makakuha ng kahoy na hindi galing sa illegal logging. Mahal po ang kuryente panggawa ng arko, hindi po ako makakuha ng discount sa Nahirapan po akong makakuha ng environmental permit sa DENR dahil sa mga endangered species na dadalhin ko.

Pinapa-lifestyle check po ako ng BIR, dapat daw magbayad ako ng buwis. Hindi rin po ako makakuha ng funding sa Congress, hindi raw nila gusto yung NGO ko. Patawad po, Lord. Hindi ko po natapos ang arko sa loob ng anim na buwan.